Lost beneath hopelessness and despair unwilling to understand the difference between wanting, caring or seeking help for hurts we all sometimes feel being alone in our pain. The cost is too much, the thought is so deeply buried under pounds of countless attempts to bargain for relief. Waiting for proof, validation anything to lift the unbearable certainty wanting life to be worth more than this, this discarded buffet of flesh. Dumped to be sifted through by laughing callous hands looking for parts to be salvaged for repurpose. Will this storm never end? Misfortunes dawdle within exhausting memories. Can there be a glimmer, a ray of hope? Drenched, defeated, wrung out, lost and burning for answers or where to look for something to hold on to, something worth more than this flood of perceptions. Standing at an intersection one way a cliff the other shrouded in obscurity. A choice can bring peace or more pain. Not choosing is a choice. Enduring the moment brings no relief only memories of the countless attempts lost to choosing not to choose. Will this time be any different? Wringing our hands dreaming for a sign, motivation, a notion that may bring movement one way or the other. The cliff or obscurity? The discarded pound of flesh or the flood of painful perception? We’ve been here before, touched the ray of hope, discarding hopelessness, to know the rainbows are real. About the author:
Rick Slottow has a self-published book of poetry. It has been over 15 years since he has thought about sharing is work with others. Most has been lost due to technology. Some was printed on paper, but most not gone will never be read. Rick just started writhing again. He is a retired Drug and Alcohol consoler. Recover alcoholic and drug addict. Living in Rhonert Park Ca. he shares his home with his wife a housemate and three dogs, 2 small under 15 pounds and one 0ver 50. In the early stages of Primary Lateral Scleroses, he wants his voice to again be heard.
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