Bug is sitting in the middle of the field, weaving dandelions into crowns, when Bee alights on her ear to tell her a story. Bug didn’t hear Bee approaching—of course—but she knows she is there by the tell-tale butterfly kisses against the shell of her ear, the gentle whisper of a sextet of legs curling up the arch to nestle between cartilage and Bug’s untamed tresses. A bird’s nest, her mother had always called her hair when she let it fly wild through the woods, catching twigs in the tangles. But no, it is not a nest for birds—Bee is who finds herself safely tucked away in the curls of Bug’s hair, settling there for a quiescent period or two whenever she needs a rest. In exchange, Bee shares all the secrets of the world with Bug. It’s true that Bee—who is not, in fact, a bee, but a beautiful monarch—can’t speak to Bug with words, but Bug has little interest in hearing anyone’s words at all. Human animals try to speak to Bug all the time, and she hears little and acknowledges less. Oftentimes, she would rather hear nothing at all. Instead, Bee tells Bug whatever she wants to know through insectoid means. Through scent and touch and dance—the latter, funnily enough, more commonly associated with bees—the little butterfly regales Bug with tales of gliding through the wind, of daring escapes from spiders, of which trees are bearing fruit and which are ready to shed their pines. Bug doesn’t know how it is that she understands what Bee tells her, and truthfully she doesn’t care to think about it—she follows adventure on butterfly wings through the woods. Today, Bee nestles into the crook of Bug’s ear, her antennae brushing against her, disguising her orange and black wings as a decorative earpiece. She could sleep soundly there, safe from any predator, and Bug would protect her. Today, her antennae tell a different story: one of her own curiosity, of wanting to know more about Bug and where she comes from. Bug is surprised—and hesitant to share her world with her friend who lives a much more exciting life than she does. “I’m afraid it would be boring for you, Bee. What would a little town have for a beautiful butterfly like you?” Bug feels Bee’s wings flutter, and she detects a wash of warm, living scent that tells her exactly what Bee is hoping to find: home, most of all. And how could Bug ever deny Bee the chance to learn something new about what it means to be home? Bug completes her dandelion crown and rests it in her wild brown curls. One weed-flower dips low to rest against Bug’s ear, and Bee crawls up to rest on that flower, always close by. I’ll be with you, Bug understands Bee to want to tell her. Don’t you worry. # It’s amazing, really, seeing one’s hometown from the multifaceted eyes of a butterfly who had previously been too afraid to leave the woods. For until today, Bug had always followed Bee to her home, through fields, along streams, and into the forest. Now, it’s Bug’s turn to show Bee the world—and what a different world it must seem, to such a tiny, delicate creature. To Bug, the town is small; to Bee, everything is like the giants of old legends. To Bug, the warm smell of fresh bread from the bakery is the comfort of home; to Bee, it is sugar and sweetness previously untold. To Bug, the cobblestone path is old, worn, and familiar; to Bee, it is a road untravelled at the end of which are more mysteries still. As Bug counts each step of each stone, making sure never to step on a single crack or fault, she can tell that Bee is observing everything around them, taking it all in and learning a new world. After a time, she understands that Bee wants to know more. She flits off of the dandelion crown in Bug’s hair and floats daintily by the well, swirling a dance in the air that asks Bug, What’s this? “It’s a well, for water,” Bug tells her. She wonders if a butterfly would understand. “We can’t drink from dewdrops like you can, so we have to get water another way. Sometimes, we make wishes on stones that we toss in.” Do they come true? Bug thought about it for a time. “Sometimes. If you want them to, and you make sure to pick out your pebbles with care.” Satisfied, Bee lands again on the flower crown, tickling Bug’s ear as she does, until the next curiosity. They walk through town like that—or Bug walks, Bee sits on her dandelion crown or on her ear, like a decoration in her hair—and Bug tries to explain anything and everything to Bee. How had she never put words before to why the church bells ring, why flowers are planted so precisely, why grass is cut to an exact length, why houses are always two stories but stores only one? These things had always bothered Bug, but she had nonetheless accepted them as rules despite her chagrin because she was told they must be. So why had she never put words to why it confounded her that money and stores ever existed at all? The latter question comes when Bug goes back to the bakery to buy a sweet loaf to share with Bee. The baker speaks slowly to help Bug follow, though Bug never has the heart to tell him that talking like the words are too big for his mouth makes it harder, if anything, to understand what he is trying to tell her. Bug immediately feels tired watching his mouth to try to make sure it matches what words she is sure she is hearing, too much energy immediately expended on just trying to understand how much she owes him for the loaf of bread and a pastry. There is a stirring against Bug’s ear. A rustling of butterfly wings. Once, twice, three times-- The baker’s eyes drift to the movement in Bug’s hair, surely landing on butterfly wings counting out an amount, but Bug flaps her hands to attract his gaze again and holds up her fingers to confirm the amount and the baker, dumbfounded, matches the number of fingers. It seems butterflies might not understand money, but they do understand numbers. Bug hands the baker the coins and turns to leave, but the baker makes a gesture that is quite familiar: Wait. He does not try to make her hear the word at the same time. Bug is very good at doing what she is told—she wasn’t always, but she has learned it’s what people want her to do—so she waits patiently, or patiently enough, for the baker to return. When he does, he holds a teaspoon measure of water, but there is a slight sheen to it, glazed with sweetness. The baker points with his free hand to the measure, then to Bee, he says something and makes a vague motion with his hand that he seems to want to indicate closeness. Bug isn’t quite sure what he is saying, but Bee lifts from her ear and dances through the air. A treat, she seems to tell Bug through her gesture, a language signed not with gesture but with her butterfly wings, for you friend. Bee lands on the teaspoon, proboscis flitting out to taste the sugar water. That’s me. Bug takes the teaspoon gingerly, balancing it as carefully as possible so that neither Bee nor her treat are disturbed. “I’ll bring it back,” she swears as an oath to the baker. “When she’s done with it.” The baker nods solemnly, accepting Bug’s truth. Outside the bakery, Bug walks only as far as she needs to in order to find a bench to perch on, holding the teaspoon for Bee to drink from to her heart’s content and with her sweet loaf cradled in her lap, using her free hand to pick away pieces to eat. “I never thought you could help me talk to people,” Bug muses out loud. Bee momentarily lifts off the spoon, fluttering in a dazzling circle around Bug’s head. She asks with her dance and with the sweet smells she emits, Do you want me to? Bug thinks about it for a moment, Bee floating patiently before her as she tries to decide. “I don’t know,” she admits. “Maybe sometimes, when I’m feeling ready to or like it will help me.” She breaks off a piece of sweet loaf and places it on a slat of the bench. “Trade?” Gently, Bee lands on the sweet bread to taste it, and Bug delicately dips the nail of her pinky finger into the teaspoon of sugar water. She tastes the light sweetness on her tongue and wonders why she had never thought before that something so simple could be so wonderful. # By the time the sun is nearly set, Bug is exhausted. It takes a lot of energy, she decides, to see the world in a way she hasn’t before. She wonders if Bee feels that way every time she maps for Bug the intricate patterns of a leaf’s vein, shows her which hollows of which trees house which animals, or how ponds can hide whole other worlds if you just look beyond the surface. She hopes it is worth it—for while it is tiring to see the world in a new light, it is also thrilling. And since Bee always shows Bug what magic lies among the trees, Bug hopes that now Bee can see magic in the brickwork of Bug’s not-so-little town. It has certainly helped Bug see more of that magic—for is it not magic, that the baker knew that Bee was special, knew just what to feed her? Is it not magic that well-wishes, when the stones Bug throws in are just the right shape and size, sometimes really do come true? At the edge of town, where the cobblestone gives way to tall grass and dirt paths cutting through the field, Bug holds out her hand and Bee crawls off her ear and flies to land on her fingers just-so. They stay together like that as the sun sets, before Bee is ready to go home and Bug is, too. They don’t need to exchange a word—not through voice or through butterfly dances—to express their gratitude for one another, the tired comfort they hold in their bones. They both will sleep deeply through the night. Bee flits up off Bug’s fingertips and grazes her nose with butterfly kisses to say goodbye before she flies off to the woods, to wherever butterflies might roost, and Bug embraces living in true silence and comfortable solitude once more. She knows Bee will find her way back when they are both ready to face the world together again. About the author:
Tyler Battaglia is a queer and disabled author of horror, dark fantasy, and other speculative fiction, who is especially interested in subjects that interrogate the connections between faith, monsters, love, queerness, and disability. You can find Tyler on social media at @whosthistyler and online at https://www.tylerbattaglia.com, where you can also find a full list of publications to date.
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Honie carefully stepped over the searing, burning brimstones, which sent up an acrid, sulphurous effluvium that irritated her nose and throat. It was the same thing every day. Peering into the meadow next door, she was relieved and surprised to find neatly manicured lawns and murmuring brooks and idyllic pastures. She was still more startled and pleased to observe myriad creatures who had the run of the green space. Honie had never ventured this farm from home till now, having been told that the nether realm was benighted and dirty and harsh. And dangerous. Peeping into the fields, Honie spied pixies, clearly identifiable by their small, butterfly-like wings, their bright green apparel, and their pointy ears. Honie waved a hand at the little creatures but they paid her no mind. Arrayed amongst the many pixies were fewer, but still a significant number, of fairies, who resembled nothing so much as lovely, diminutive females, with long, slender fingers and tapering limbs, but without wings. instead, they whooshed along on the backs of large, obliging birds. The fairies were clad in dreamy, diaphanous gowns and brandished tiny silver wands with which to conjure their magic. They were stunningly beautiful, thought Honie. Finally she saw the tall, fleshy, hirsute ogres, practically walking on their knuckles; they seemed so stupid, she thought with a laugh. How could she join the other creatures? she wondered. They all seemed so joyous, so content, living together in apparent harmony. She, on the other hand, endured a hard scrabble existence without enough food or fresh water and, more urgently, no companionship. In her own land she had not a friend. She bit her lower lip, thinking, then Honie looked down at herself, was unhappy with what she found. She was a boring normal size, not a perfectly formed miniature like the fairies or the pixies; not huge and strong like the ogres; not an adept huntress like the daughters of Artemis. She grasped one of her brown tresses, examined it critically: boring! Everything was just so darn average, she thought miserably. Why couldn't she have what they all had? she wondered enviously. But Honie had always been admonished by the authorities of her own domain, to keep to her own kind. Combining different kinds of creatures, she had been told endlessly, was not only impractical, it was evil. But no one had told her that recently. She was for the first time tempted to join this weird, marvelous menagerie, and was wondering how to go about it when a faun, with its brown, furry legs and sharp little horns, took notice of Honie. It neared the spot where she stood and put its cloven hoof over an imaginary line of demarcation between the two kingdoms. Upon which the creature disintegrated and scattered into a billion atoms. Honie froze, horrified. That was what she had been warned about, she supposed. Before Honie could even think, another creature, an old troll, approached the line as the faun had. Honie wanted to warn the creature away--for every life form had a right to live, she believed--but before she could act, the troll touched the line with its large square foot and a loud crackling noise shocked them both. The troll quickly withdrew his foot and shuffled awkwardly away into dense undergrowth. It wasn't so bad that time, thought Honie. Perhaps, over time, it would be easier for "others" to cross over to each side. This experience taught her something: the first time is always the hardest, but with increased contact and familiarity, obstacles could be overcome. Making up her mind, Honie defiantly stomped her foot down on the line and waited expectantly. There was a light humming beneath her foot--but that was all. Stepping over the line and into the forbidden realm, Honie took herself to where there was food and water and, most importantly, the precious friendship of the other creatures. About the author:
Bill Tope is a retired Public Assistance caseworker who lives in Illinois (almost in the very shadow of the majestic Gateway Arch) with his mean little cat Baby. He has been a construction worker, a cook, a nude model, you name it. |
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